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I love WWE, and I have ever since I can remember. I also liked WCW, but never as much as WWE (or WWF, back then; I still like to call it that, even though on the DVDs the "F" on the logo is blurred out). However, lately there have been some extremely stupid storylines and behind-the-scenes decisions. I'm counting down my top ten least favorite of these.
10.) Live Sex Celebration: The year 2006 started with a bang. One of the most highly praised shocking moments in recent WWE history occured when Edge cashed in his "Money in the Bank" priviledge after John Cena retained the WWE title in the Elimination Chamber. Edge consequently captured the WWE title in a truly electric moment. What did WWE do to follow up this triumph? With something stupid, of course! Edge promised to celebrate by have SEX with Lita the following night LIVE in the ring on RAW. The moment arrived, and Edge and Lita were in bed in the middle of the ring supposedly "doing it" until Ric Flair thankfully interrupted. The highlight of the night came when Lita's breast was exposed on TV (censored in USA & CANADA but shown in the UK). Guess what, it scored the highest rating in years!
9.) Making Vito wear dresses: Throughout wrestling history, there are several "angles" that have been stolen, re-used, or recycled over the years. Some of them are so bad you have to wonder how it keeps getting past the booking committee stages. Usually a wrestler loses a "Loser wears a dress" match and has to wear a dress in the ring, but in this case Big Vito just suddenly started wearing dresses. It was made abundantly clear that he wasn't gay, he just liked wearing dresses!
8.) Piggy James: In an attempt to make Mickie James feel like total crap WWE decided to do a storyline where Michelle McCool & Layla reverted back into 16 year old girls and began making fun of one of the most talented Divas on the show because she didn't resemble a stick! Now Mickie James is not fat at all, but that didn't stop Michelle and Layla for dumping punch and cake on her, singing a song about her, and nicknaming her Piggy James. It was a very embarrassing storyline, with the pay off being Mickie defeating Michelle at Extreme Rules to win the Women's title, only to lose it a week later and get released soon after. Because that's what happens when you stand up to bullies kids!
7.) Cutting the talent: In the year of 2008, WWE made a lot of unnecessary cuts, and confusing ones at that. As in the last entry you saw Colin Delany getting cut, after a great Underdog Story, and a surprising heel turn. Then later Lance Cade, who was getting a great push, siding with Main Event Heel Jericho, gets cut after a huge involvement in the Y2J vs. HBK rivalary, and Cade showed great promise like Colin. Now this would not be such an issue, if they did not keep the likes of Funaki, who is now Kung Fu Naki..oh like the song!!! Aha aha aha! And how about the midget man child Hornswoggle, that's what I watch wrestling for a midget hiding under the ring dressed in green who likes to dance with children! Damn and all these years I thought I watched it for wrestling! I know how stupid am I?
6.) "The Pop Princess" Jillian Hall: WWE's answer to reality television's American Idol was to saddle Jillian Hall with a bad singer gimmick. Jillian Hall, who is a highly-trained athletic women's wrestler, has never gotten a real opportunity to show her skills in a WWE ring with serious competition. On the surface, many people would assume that the gimmick was a rip-off of American Idol - however, I find it very ironic that Jillian's Idol gimmick was launched around the same time Hulk Hogan severed all ties with Vince McMahon and the WWE. I believe Jillian's gimmick is a direct shot at Hulk's daughter Brook Hogan, who is unsuccessfully trying to to kick start a singing career. The only reason anybody knows Brooke's name is because her famous father is always two steps behind her. I'm begging WWE, please just let Jillian wrestle!
5.) The Spirit Squad: So one day back in January the WWE creative team was sitting around their creative table brainstorming on new characters for the fresh young talent being groomed in Ohio Valley Wrestling. Suddenly one nervous hand went up and Mrs. Stephanie McMahon-Levesque-H acknowledged his request to speak. Well Mrs. H, I think we should make five characters that are the complete opposite of what appeals to our demographic. I can't imagine any wrestling fan would respect a male cheerleader, and let's make them sorta gay too. "Perfect!" shouted daddy's little girl... as she threw five darts at the wall covered with developmental talent photographs. Johnny Ace.... call up Ken Doane, Johnny Jeter, Mike Mondo, Nick Nemeth and Nick Mitchell! What? You say they are already in the middle of their own well-written storylines at OVW? WHO CARES!! What Stephanie wants.... STEPHANIE GETS!!!!
4.) Shelton Benjamin's Mama: Shelton Benjamin fell into a slump and he was in the middle of depressing losing streak. One night after a match, Shelton Benjamin's Mama showed up to whip Shelton into shape! We didn't even get to know what her name was, as she was constantly refered to as "Shelton Benjamin's Mama." She began helping her son win matches without him knowing, thus bringing Shelton back to his winning ways. But now he was a heel and everyone started calling him a Mamas Boy. A few months later Shelton Benjamin's Mama suffered a heart attack at ringside when the Big Show yelled "Don't touch me!" at her during a match!
3.) The Screwing Spree: It was bound to happen. And it happened during the finals of the Gold Rush Tournament between Kane and Edge. Seeing Lita and Edge on TV together caused for some interesting moments for fans who knew what had happened in the real world with Matt Hardy. Lita turned on her husband, and helped Edge score the victory and win the Tournament. Edge & Lita then climbed the stage and exchanged a sloppy kiss right in front of camera and you just had that sinking feeling that the heartless writers had Hardy in mind when they scripted that segment.
Suddenly, the smarky chants of "You Screwed Matt!" turned to marky chants of "You Screwed Kane!". Lita came out the following week and cut a promo on Kane, and again, you felt sick to your stomach, thinking, is she really talking to Matt here? I know Lita must have felt extremely uncomfortable cutting that promo, but she went on record saying she would do whatever she was told. Shame on the WWE writers for taking advantage of a willing employee just to make smark naughty parts tingle.
2.) Hunting for Guttersluts: There are often controversial storylines in the WWE that can be considered borderline shameful. Personally, as long as a storyline has to do with WRESTLING, or the WRESTLERS, then I'm okay with it. This storyline pushed the envelope, but at least led to some intense matches in the ring. For whatever reason, Kurt Angle began portraying himself as a 'dirty pervert' who enjoyed the company of "Guttersluts". The Gutterslut that happened to catch his eye was the wife of Booker T, the beautiful Sharmell, who had a stint in WCW as a Nitro Girl before moving on as a RAW interviewer. Sharmell played the part, and screamed in terror while standing behind her man, who gallantly defended her honor. Way to go Book. You da man!
1.)The firing of Muhammad Hassan: In late 2004, Mark Caponi was hired under the name "Muhammad Hassan", who was presented as an Arab American wrestler angry with the stereotypes that had arisen after 9/11. He drew controversy due to this and he was notorious as one of the most hated wrestlers in WWE. And, to this day, he remains my favorite post-2004 heel wrestler. He was a talented young man and, again, one of the greatest heel wrestlers post-2004. However, as I said, his character drew a lot of controversy and due to pressures from the network, Hassan was barred from appearing on television until that year's Great American Bash pay-per-view event, where he was to face the Undertaker. Hassan was tombstoned onto a concrete floor and "rushed to a nearby hospital". Translation: WWE's excuse for firing one of the most talented wrestlers ever. Back in the 80's, the WWF had a variety of heel wrestlers based on foreign stereotypes. They had heel wrestlers such as Nickolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik who were mostly the same as Hassan: America-hating foreigners. However, they didn't get fired because of it. So why did Hassan? Hassan had a manager, a scrawny little man by the name of Shawn Daivari, who, for some reason, was allowed to return to the WWE as a manager of mostly large wrestlers such as Mark Henry and the Great Khali. Why? Hassan was fired, so shouldn't Daivari have been fired too? It doesn't make any sense. Mark Caponi's career in wrestling lasted only two years, most likely due to WWE.